Struggle until the end.

Someday… someday I might adopt an eternal perspective. I’m not there now. If I were, the acceptance of “I AM” as the answer to every question/challenge/problem in my life would satisfy. That isn’t the case, however. 

In the meantime, struggle is the order of the day. The struggle for survival at multiple levels: physically, relationally, emotionally, culturally, spiritually, intellectually, socially… all of that, and more: gastronomically, visually, aurally, environmentally, politically, organizationally, economically…

Struggle is the appropriate response to the challenges of all the above categories. Struggle that leads to success as often as I can achieve it, but it’s not always possible. There are levels of success and failure. Not all meals satisfy on all levels, but we get fed enough to survive. Or we don’t.

Death is seen as the enemy to be hated, dreaded, contested, and ultimately overcome. The afterlife is the expectation of many, if not most, religions. Heaven or hell. Great hope or dreaded fear. Although there are the Sadducees and the many Unitarian-Universalists who see existence only in the physical life realm. But what do we know? Those rare cases of the dead who revive don’t offer much opportunity for investigation and certainly offer nothing in the way of affirming the conditions of an ongoing eternal afterlife that might be called heaven or hell. Such is the challenge of religious faith, and why it’s believed by faith rather than scientific observation.

Gail died. Gary died. Adam died. They’re gone. Their ongoing existence in the afterlife is invisible to me. I have a vague sense of something, but I can’t put my finger on anything. Gail’s and Gary’s deaths made room for Margy and me to marry. Adam’s death ended a long, drawn-out conflict between us. Several different legacies. Just ask the survivors what the impact of their departed family members has been since their deaths. Is it remorse or relief? Very often, it’s both when there’s been a prolonged health struggle and much pain for the beloved who finally passes.

One day it will be my turn. That turning point comes for us all.